When you rarely tell me you love me it sounds like an apology,
like you feel sorry for the way I am, the way I was raised What are you sorry for? I'm not feeling guilt for myself anymore, those sad poems, that I used to write back when I was 17, Back when tomorrow never seemed to have a crack of daylight for me, Back when my writings became my anti depressants, Prozak, paroxetine and other words I could have barely pronounced back then.. Everything seemed so dull and flat, but you see those same bricks that made a heavy loud on me were the foundation that built the house I now am, Don't feel sorry for me, feel anything but sorry for me don't feel sorry for me; Because of you I have expanded my vocabulary, and the compliments I get now is not "what a nice ass you have", but what a way you have with words, on the spot, you have the right things to say, your mouth speaks louder than any firecracker, you are an intense flame Your eyes could burn the sky, but you choose to burn others instead." I don't hurt anybody simply because I have been hurt a few times. I am thankful, I am honest, and I deliberated will speak my mind, and the last thing I will ever be is "sorry" 08/02/2014
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What was the point of saying 'stay true to yourself' or 'say what you feel', if everytime I wanted to say something that was on my mind a big problem for you.
When it came to speaking my mind, I was scared of breaking traditions or relations all because of the fear of being left alone and pointed at. When it came to being honest, I was always the one who always had an over usage of words, but I couldn't help it that my mouth was like a water fall that couldn't stop flowing, because once I start I can't stop. My mouth saw all the sides of me even if it didn't have eyes to see or ears to hear, but It sure made me who I am. I wished I could take back all the words I've held back or the sentences I've left unfinished to save something that didn't need saving, because it never did me any good. but wishing upon stars and blowing candles on birthdays wasn't going to change to situation. eightteen candles and here I am writing all my thoughts, hoping that it can be reached to someone because my dreams were too big and the destinations I wanted to go were too far. In a way, I always had the most say. Even if I didn't say it out loud, I always had enough to make you wonder, until it got to a point were you didn't have anything else to say. It wasn't my lack of being social with people that made me like this, but rather how society came with all these phrases and quotations that no one even lived by because they always had something to hold them back. What i'm trying to say is, next time when you want to hear and feel something honest and pure, don't expect me to take consideration with your heart because no one ever did with mine. |
AuthorA collection of a few published poems and spoken words by Keyla. Feel free to go through any of them, feed back is always welcome. Archives
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