Don't under estimate me, for I have a complex life, everything in my life that was once so easy, every wind that blew in my hair that felt so breezy now irritates me,
to the point were all I want to do is lock myself up in my room, and stare at old photographs and wonder what i've become and why, but not everything had an answer, not everything got clearer, some things just became more dull and dark, kind of like old memorabilias in the attic that you just seem to forget about with time. My brain started to bloom, and grew stems, it started to grow flowers with time, I called it Begonia..with time Time made it difficult as well as easy for me to understand that I was on a fast train that made changes on every stop it made, but every stop didn't really give me the chance to catch my breath. I wanted to take things slow and understand more, appreciate and love more but all I did was give, give, give Where was the getting and receiving? where was the enjoyment instead of the griefing? because that's all I was feeling, day by day, on people and things that had been dead 2 centuries ago, I was rolling up to every corner where it said "we sell love here" I was rolling up to corners with spiderwebs and dust, I was making temporary things a must. I now know, that my life for a fact wasn't complicated and neither was I, perhaps it was the way others thought, maybe you should trade shoes or have a look through my eyes, maybe then you will see that it takes more than elevating and breaking out for one to feel free To feel freedom, to be freedom, to have freedom of speech, while living in a cage called world, where dreams and potentials sometimes are far out of reach.
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What was the point of saying 'stay true to yourself' or 'say what you feel', if everytime I wanted to say something that was on my mind a big problem for you.
When it came to speaking my mind, I was scared of breaking traditions or relations all because of the fear of being left alone and pointed at. When it came to being honest, I was always the one who always had an over usage of words, but I couldn't help it that my mouth was like a water fall that couldn't stop flowing, because once I start I can't stop. My mouth saw all the sides of me even if it didn't have eyes to see or ears to hear, but It sure made me who I am. I wished I could take back all the words I've held back or the sentences I've left unfinished to save something that didn't need saving, because it never did me any good. but wishing upon stars and blowing candles on birthdays wasn't going to change to situation. eightteen candles and here I am writing all my thoughts, hoping that it can be reached to someone because my dreams were too big and the destinations I wanted to go were too far. In a way, I always had the most say. Even if I didn't say it out loud, I always had enough to make you wonder, until it got to a point were you didn't have anything else to say. It wasn't my lack of being social with people that made me like this, but rather how society came with all these phrases and quotations that no one even lived by because they always had something to hold them back. What i'm trying to say is, next time when you want to hear and feel something honest and pure, don't expect me to take consideration with your heart because no one ever did with mine. |
AuthorA collection of a few published poems and spoken words by Keyla. Feel free to go through any of them, feed back is always welcome. Archives
April 2018
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