What a year to be alive, what a time it was to not have been,
Because this was the year where I struggled the most, The year that made my anxiety come alive and haunts me at night, I was kept awake, woke up at 6 Worked 12 hours a day, I juggled 4 jobs that year, Despite my efforts to keep my head above water, My head sank first and my feet could not stay on the ground, I floated in desperation, I was begging for someone to finally notice, but no one ever did, That was the year I considered ending it all, and still no one had a clue, how desperate I was for acceptance, for me accepting myself and loving what stared at me in the mirror without constant questioning, Because in the real world, there exists no on-and off switch, In the real world, you don’t just forget about things people did or said to you, You live with it and hopefully one day pretend it doesn’t bother you anymore, That was the year I thought I had it all figured out because I saw a slight of progress, but failed miserably, And despite it all, despite what a shitty year it has been so far, I am still seeing sunrises and wonder how this crazy world is to beyond words to embark without a proper goodbye and last dance, Maybe one day in a perfect world struggles are not seen as weaknesses but a sign of strength and you will be praised for every inch of it.
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AuthorA collection of a few published poems and spoken words by Keyla. Feel free to go through any of them, feed back is always welcome. Archives
April 2018
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