Dedicated to all students and graduates..ever
Often, I sit back and wonder how the years are passing by like bees, fast and some sort of whatever Often I sit back and wonder and ask myself why why why why...why did these years in the education system did not prepare me for the things I have stubbled on every step of the road after graduation, life just feels like a game of darts. Despite how high your GPA is, everything in life is always going to be a gamble. I never understood why these years passed me by sitting in a classroom and I did not learn a single thing. After graduating high school, everything got question marks all over them. I honestly felt that on some days I asked myself more questions than I ever got answers. I don’t know who to blame or point fingers at, but all I know is, I am just so frustrated with all these questions.. questions, questions... so many questions...like Why were we never taught how to open up a bank account, how to manage our financials, how to pay the bills.. about 7 hours a day listening to history and what is the past,present and future tense, but not a single minute on how to handle with life's downfalls, how to deal with the loss of a friend, how to live with a dysfunctional family, how to manage my emotions, how can you tell me that after I finish my degree I am supposed to manage people but I can't even manage myself? I know that some things school just can't teach you. I know that after some time, you will be begging to sit back in that class room when your only worry is to study, do tomorrow's homework and that's sort of it.. We often are too fast to grow up, that we often forget to enjoy our lives as students. After you finish high school and college and you're sitting in an office from 9 to 5 when the only smell you smell is fresh brewed coffee and you don't know what 8 hours of sleep is anymore, I hope you still have the same desire to grow as you did way back in school. I hope that you stay as morning as you are now, and enjoy every year you can in that class room and make yourself proud. Learn as much as you can and don't be so quick to want to grow up..time flies before you know it. For the record, school taught me a lot. Unfortunately in life there's some lessons that you first have to fail before you can learn, so learn.
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I used to be the most insecure person..ever I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror without pointing out at least 10 things that were wrong with me
Either I was too fat, too dramatic, too emotionally unstable, a little too much I have always either loved too much or not enough, nothing in my life was ever balanced, When you come from a dysfunctional family, you learn what the true meaning of dependance means, And as time goes, you start learning to use it more carefully I often still have nightmares about it People always say how beautiful it is to be strong and not having to depend on anyone but yourself. But just how strong can you really be? Just how content are you really with the reality of not needing anyone? Sometimes I feel that I am too strong, I have learned to use my own wings instead of depending on someone else’s to fly, Often my strength scares me, I am so scared to hold something or someone in my arms because I am afraid that I am too strong and that I will break it. It is not that I did not like your gesture, but the thought that I can provide for myself even if I don’t have a spare penny to give away right now or not enough to pay the bills is traumatic I remember when I used to find comfort in people How I used to make homes out of people and make beds out of their arms It was so peaceful back then, Back when everything had a reason and purpose and somehow I had a reason to hold on to things and people In less than a few weeks another chapter closes. Another year goes by and I can say that I really learned I really learned what it’s like to see things from the other side, and I learned that sometimes the grass isn’t really greener on the other side December 13th, 2015 |
AuthorA collection of a few published poems and spoken words by Keyla. Feel free to go through any of them, feed back is always welcome. Archives
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