The divorce rate is growing rapidly in the last years, especially on our island. It is remarkable to think that there are more divorces on average per month than there are marriages. I am not married (yet), and I don't have any children. I can't talk about what divorce feels like for the ones go underwent it, but I would rather talk about the third parties involved in every divorce: the children. For most children that experiences a separation at an early age, the reaction can vary. Not all children are as close to each parent as the other, and depending on the reason for the divorce, can all play an important role on how they deal with it. My parents divorced before I was 8 years old. I was never close with my father because of his drug and alcohol habits. To be honest, I can't even remember a Christmas that we have spent with him. It was a constant back and forth argument in the house every day that lead to a divorce when I was 8. because we never had that close bonding relationship with my father, I never really felt a gap when he left. We picked up the pieces just fine. It was very hard as the years went on. Because I was the oldest, I had a lot of responsibilities that was thrown on me to take care of. I felt like I was growing up too fast and at some point it became too much.
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When it's Finally Time to Let Go: How, When and Why you Should let go of Toxic Relationships1/29/2016 Thought of the week: "Two wrongs don't make a right"
"I was 17 when I got in my first relationship. I was young, did not know much about love and relationships. One thing I was sure about was that I WAS OVER THE MOON for this guy!" Have you ever been so in love with someone that everything they do you just get a blind spot for? The amount of times they verbally and physically hurt you, you just make excuses for them. "He/she loves me, he did not mean it", until it becomes the 5th time this week that you have been ditched, hurt, and abused. Toxic relationships I know I promised to make a small article on this one!
Its a new year, you've probably been thinking about finding a job, or you might already be job hunting. This article is especially dedicated and focused for students who will be starting their internship soon or might be job hunting. I always get questions from students who get all nervous when they have an interview to attend to or don't even know how to start. In a nutshell I have pin pointed a few important things that employers and as HR we look for in candidates! First thing's first: DO NOT PANIC! Seriously, panicking will not make it any better and will only make you nervous for your interview. Remember you only get ONE chance to make a FIRST GOOD impression, so make a good one! The preparation:
Thought of the week: "When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower." Almost every kid from the young age of 5(or maybe even younger), are dressed from head to toe in the latest fashion. Teenagers all over the world, especially in our own community as well, have the latest trendy clothes, the newest phone and gadgets and everything fashionable. Referring by the famous quote by the famous author and poet, Oscar Wilde, “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” In today's modern world, a lot of parents choose to buy the latest fashion items and gadgets for their children, instead of making a head start investment in their education. Most students go abroad to study and a few come back with a degree. Why are we young people lacking so much ambition? Why do we choose fashion statements over education? It is no secret that education has become a costly thing. By starting a savings account, you can start building up funds to help you go to college. College is viewed as a necessity, yet priced as a luxury. I don't own a Michael Kors bag, have a shoe for each day, or a collection of the latest sun glasses. My parents, in this case my mother did not have the luxury to buy me all of the things I wanted when I was younger. No offense to all those that were fortunate to enjoy the finer things, and maybe still do. As parents, and future parents, it is important that we understand that the cost of living including the cost of attending college is rising each year. As parents and students, we have to start planning and preparing for our future. Since high school I didn't go out much, and I didn't spend so much money on clothes, clubbing, or elsewhere. Instead, I was spending my weekends at home, sometimes preparing for finals and midterms ahead of time, and trying to struggle my way in getting a scholarship. My biggest aspirations were not to find a boyfriend, going out to the next big event or even getting expensive things, it was to graduate. I want to have a better quality of living for my family, and so that one day I can cater my family a life that they have dreamed of. Every minute counts. As far as it might look like from now, you have to start planning, and getting your priorities together. Another important thing that we forget is to always update our goals, monitor them, and strive for results. When you have a goal, and the only thing that you want is to achieve it, you WILL succeed. There were days that I would come home from school and cry. As confusing as it might be, it is a bittersweet feeling when all you want to do is succeed, especially in school. You are 'competing' with all of these other students, and sometimes you don't always win. While some of my classmates were all excited to just graduate, I would sometimes find myself crying because I didn't know how I was going to afford college. Where there is a will, there is a way While you still can, try to find online courses, or courses that are being offered to help you build up your portfolio for the future. I took various courses, workshops and trainings to fill in my resume, and build a solid foundation to help me get in a good college soon. As a confession as well, I was hungry for knowledge, and I was desperate to achieve. My opinion about it The sad reality in the education system is that only brains will not get you enrolled in a college. With the modern world, most colleges are too expensive for middle class families to afford. Its disappointing that we don't have that many scholarship opportunities for students here who desperately want to make it, and want to finish their degree instead of dropping out because they can't afford a college tuition. I wish and hope that one day, companies will invest more in funding financial scholarships for students, and that one day we can all get an opportunity to make our dreams come true regardless of our financial status and say "we did it" with a diploma in our hands. I'm doing a survey on long distance relationships and I want YOUR thoughts on it!
It will take less than 7 minutes!! Here is the link: https://surveyplanet.com/56917e787ded0a752f39f6e9 I never really put my business out there, but I felt that this is something I really have to talk about. Often in our community we hear and see in the news papers, about dysfunctional families or homes or we see people trash talking or throwing shades for their ex on social media. Often we see or hear about families where one or more family member has a drug or alcohol addition, gambling addiction, financial problems due to low income or too many children too feed and rising costs, verbal, and physical abuse, sexual abuse and so on. This usually creates a negative grudge in especially children. Based on my experience, it took me a while to really let go of that grudge that I had with my father due to various problems that he had and that he had brought into our home. A new year just started and every year you see posts on social media, elite sites, newspaper and just about everywhere about people who make up a list that they call their new year's resolutions. Most resolutions are very common with each other because almost all of them involve weight loss, keeping better track and better managing of your financials, get engaged/ or get in a relationship and so on. So why do always include the same things year after year and have a hard time succeeding at these goals? It's pretty simple. Here are a list of mistakes that according me we do wrong when setting up new year's resolutions and goals in general:
Personally, I like to make goals through out the entire year, meaning I don't make a long list of things I want to accomplish or achieve in the beginning of the year. Adding a few things to my 2016 cart here are a list of things that I have included as ideas for your New year's resolution for 2016. Let's make 2016 a year of positive vibes, more smiles and less hatred. Here are a few things you should add to your New year's resolution list:
If you have your new year's resolution for 2016 already written out, share them with me! There are tons of things to accomplish this year, you just have to MAKE IT HAPPEN! You can accomplish anything you want to, as long as you are committed enough to do it. "If you want it as bad as you want to breathe, then you will be successful" -Eric Thomas. For couples: I started doing this with my boyfriend, and it's really fun. Make together a list of things you both want to achieve or do this year. Have each partner write down for example 5 personal goals, and 5 goals or things they want to accomplish or do in regards with your relationship. Monitor your goals together as well. This not only is a way of working on goals for 2016, but also keeps your relationship moving. TIP: We did ours in the form of tiny notes papers. Write on each piece of paper or post it notes a goal. You can use two colors to separate the personal goals with the relationship goals for 2016. Each piece of paper represents a goal. After you both have written your 5 personal goals and 5 relationship goal, fold the pieces of paper and put them in a jar and write on it "2016 Goals" or whatever you want on it. Agree together for example that each month you will open 2 pieces of paper and monitor the progress for example. I wish you all the best with your goals, and remember to keep monitoring your goals for progress and have someone monitor you as well for motivation. Goals don't work unless you do! I have written various articles for newspapers, notes, social media sites, newsletters and more on the phenomena that still is the elephant in the room: Cyber bullying. The reason therefore is because it is an alarming issue that is happening in our online community, especially amongst teens and children. Cyber bullying can affect anyone at any age, no matter your gender, race, religion, income, social status, at any time, day and no matter where you are around the world. Why is Cyber bullying a scary problem? In contrary to Bullying, Cyber bullying happens 24/7 and can reach any house hold at any time. It can be hard to trace the bully because with the use of technology, some social media sites have the option of remaining anonymous or by creating fake pages using pictures and names of other people to hide their identity. According to Stopbullying.gov Cyber Bullying is defined as "bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites.Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles." Often because this issue is ignored or not talked about, it fuels up to become an issue that is hard to tackle. Teenagers all over the world have access to technology, and social media websites including the use of the internet. The internet made it easier for us to connect with the world, buy merchandise, keep track of everything that is happening, and be the first to know any news or gossip all over the world. This all sounds great, but what happens when the use of the internet can become a danger for teenagers and children? Cyber Bullying happened to me In February of 2015 I have experienced Cyber Bullying for the first time. I never imagined that it would be something that can happen to me. I always had the idea that bullying and cyber bullying happened to kids or teenagers who often were either isolated or were easy targets. I was very much involved in Service and Volunteer clubs, was an outstanding student, was awarded various times and had a great group of friends. What I did not know was that Cyber bullying can happen to anybody, despite how successful you are, how many friends or popular you might be, income, social status, race, gender, age and is not easy to stop. I started getting really mean and hurtful comments on the popular social media website Ask.fm. Ask.fm is a website that is created to give users the opportunity(by creating an account), to ask each other questions or give comments with the option of remaining anonymous. I had an account on ask.fm but never got any hurtful or mean comments. I did not have enemies or problems with anyone (that I was much aware of). I never knew until today who was the person sending me those mean comments and hurtful messages. I always thought of myself as a person with a strong confidence and I never thought that those comments would affect me in any way. To be honest, as confident as you might be or show, sometimes subconsciously those comments to have an affect on you (either long term or short term). The reality is this: It is very hard to deal with a problem that is growing day by day and no one is taking action. So what did I do about it? Shortly after this happened, I posted a post on Facebook where I told my story with the comments I received anonymously on Ask.fm and the reaction I got was amazing. I had people who I never talked with message me with their stories of their own struggles with Cyber bullying and Bullying. It was then that I realized that this is a big issue that we are not talking and doing something about. I had the chance to give a presentation of social problem to the Kiwanis Club of Aruba, and that was the very first time that I shared my story and talked about what is Cyber bullying and what we as parents, teachers, friends, and online users can do about this issue. Later on I started giving the same presentation to various organizations, and I am still planning on reaching schools and the world. I wrote various articles in the local newspapers about this issue and after that I saw a lot of people talking about it on social media, radio hosts talking about this topic and even had organizations starting awareness campaigns on Bullying and Cyber Bullying. How can you help stop/prevent Cyber Bullying?
To understand more what is Cyber Bullying and know what you can do, feel free to visit these resource websites:
Photo: KISELEV ANDREY VALEREVICH/SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
I always get questions from different people, especially students about tips for studying, and getting prepared for internship or a job interview. So I took the time to write down some tips for studying and a few for all of you who are looking for a job or are getting ready to do your internship. I will be posting the one about the job interviews/ internship soon on a separate post, so be pending! I hope your exams went well! Check out these handy tips that have helped me over the years not only for passing my exams in flying colors, but also that helped me stay an outstanding student. My pocket tips for studying:
Coffee is my secret weapon during finals week. Coffee keeps me focused and awake, and even though I don't recommend this because it is not healthy, I stay long hours on coffee when studying for big exams or midterms. I have once read that if you study while chewing a specific gum, an during the exam you chew the same taste gum, it helps you remember better, but I did not really test this as yet. Extra tips: - Get enough sleep (8 hours). - Eat well, don't starve yourself or forget to eat. This will make you lose your focus and you will be tired easily as well. - Avoid the cellphones. I know it is hard to stop checking your phone every 10 seconds, take it from a texting addict. But sometimes you just really have to remind yourself why you have to ace this exam, and try to just put your phone away or put it on silent. BONUS for PHONE/TEXTING addicts: To make it easier, I have discovered this cool site to help you study without checking up constantly on your phone Keep me out http://keepmeout.com/ I really hope that these tips help you and that it can better your performance at school. So much success with your last semesters of school and with your upcoming exams and midterms! If you have any questions for more tips or advice, feel free to send me an email or Facebook message! My contact information is in the contact section above! |
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My name is Keyla and I am a second year university student studying social work. I blog about social media, lifestyle, health, beauty, love, relationships, career and student life-hacks. Leave a comment and give my articles a ❤️ or 👍🏻 and don't forget to share to show your support. 😘, Keyla Publication Dates
March 2018
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